In one week from today, we will be getting on a plane, and flying to sunny Florida to await the arrival of our son.
We've been working tirelessly towards this for a long time now, but it still seems so unreal.
He's due on Oct 22, but we are heading down a week early in the hopes that we can get there before he does. We will get to meet his birthparents, which again feels so unreal. I've spoken with his birthmother on the phone, and we text often, but the fact that we will be sitting and having dinner together is hard to actually take in.
But it's real. It's happening. To ME. And let me tell you, I am an extremely average person.
I talk too fast when I'm excited, and I laugh too loud when I'm nervous. I drink way too much coffee, and I hide from my kids so I can eat chocolate. I absolutely love my children, and I absolutely can't wait for bedtime.
We are raising our kids on one income in a two-income world. We budget. I find as many ways as possible to make casseroles featuring beans and rice exciting and new.
I'm very relateable.
The point of all this is to point out that if I can adopt, anyone can adopt. Seriously. The idea that only the creme-de-la-creme of society can adopt is silly.
(Note that I say "can", not "should". If you can't provide a safe, loving environment for a child, then no, you should not adopt. Everyone else, keep reading.)
When I share our plans to adopt with friends or acquaintances, one of the responses I run into the most often is that the person I'm talking to would love to adopt...if only it wasn't so darned expensive. Then they sigh and shake their head at the wrongness of charging money for babies who need families, and the subject changes.
Well, it's true, adoption IS expensive. Overseas adoptions often run between $40,000 and $60,000, and I've seen domestic adoptions with $20,000 to $40,000 price tags, ours among them. But when people who were apparently interested in adoption stop there, feeling it's impossible because they don't have an extra $20,000 to $40,000 in their bank account, I can't decide if I'm more sad or frustrated by the lack of information. I want to shout it from the rooftops: HELP IS OUT THERE! You might have to search for it, you might need to get out of you comfort zone, and you might need to work your butt off for a few months, but the help is out there.
We applied for grants that our situation fit the requirements of, and should hear about those one way or another soon.
Paul's work has an adoption reimbursement program, which will help a lot.
We had a rummage sale last spring, and asked our church family if they had any odds and ends headed to thrift stores that they could donate to us instead. We advertised that the yard sale was for our adoption, and that two-day yard sale raised $4,000. People would come, pick out $5 worth of odds and ends, and give us a $20.
We had an amazing experience working with The Both Hands Foundation, who helped us organize an amazing fundraiser in which we (with the help of an amazing group of friends) have raised almost $12,000 while helping a widow in our community who happens to also be a dear friend. (Can you say "win-win"?)
Paul's coworkers filled baby bottles with their "spare change" over a few weeks and then returned the bottles when full...and I'm willing to bet that the $20 and $50 dollar bills we found in those bottles weren't exactly "spare change".
A few days ago I found out that another adoptive mama is doing a fundraiser for us, giving us all her commissions this month through her Matilda Jane online store. I've never even met her!
(Update: Since this writing, we were awarded a $6,000 dollar grant from the JHC Foundation, and $1,000 grant from the Gift of Adoption Fund! Woot!)
We started this journey feeling like this was what God wanted us to do, and praying that, if we were right, that He would provide a way; and that if we were wrong, that He would please make our efforts fruitless. We had NO idea where the resources were going to come from. He has blessed every step we have taken. It's been a lesson in trust, hard work, and perseverance, but even that is a blessing. To see God working through our labors is an experience like no other.
So, my point is this: If you are supposed to adopt, the price tag will not stop you. It just won't. Pray hard, and if you still feel that this is what you are supposed to do, just take the first step. Then pray hard again, and take the second step. Rinse and repeat. Also read Joshua 1:9:"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
So please, please don't dismiss adoption because it's expensive. I promise you, God is bigger than your finances. If you are considering adoption, please be encouraged. If you are not considering adoption but know someone who is, please encourage them! But let's stop shaking our heads and sighing over how out-of-reach it all is. If adoption is what God wants you to do, He will not make it impossible. Be strong and courageous.
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